Toddlers go through various phases and if you notice your
toddler misbehaving especially in the presence of another baby, it is time for
you reconsider your parenting style because if you do not take it seriously,
chances are the toddler will develop habits that could go beyond misbehaving.
Likewise, if you are not sure about your toddler or if you want to determine in
which category your toddler falls, try giving the power wheel to another baby
in front of the toddler, his/her reaction will help you to figure out.
There are many examples and symptoms which would help you
to assess if your toddler falls into the domain of a child with compulsive
disorders. And the act of misbehavior or attention seeking is mostly an outcome
of an underlying cause. In some of the cases, the child may feel suffocated or
suppressed for not being able to express the emotions or frustration with
something. For instance, if you have become parents of another child, the older
child may be feeling insecure in terms of guarding the position in the family.
Similarly, sharing the love of parents with another sibling can be hard on some
of the children.
There are many ways of figuring out if your child is
having the hard time to cope with the addition of a younger sibling or family
member. For example, if you see your older child picking fights with the young
one without any reason or if your child shows restraint in expressive love for
the younger one, it is time for you to talk to the child. Though it is natural
to feel little insecure, however, if this tendency goes unchecked or if it is
not addressed, it could turn into big problems for the entire family.
Time for Parents to Intervene: Being the parents of the
more than one child, you will be expected to know everything. For example, you
may have to observe the child and if you notice odd symptoms, you will have to
figure out the right course of action. The best ways to determine if it is time
for you intervene or not is to remain vigilant in terms of spending time with
the children.
Interpretation: Babies under a certain age cannot speak
and if the parents do not know how to interpret the gestures of the child, the
child may develop a sense of being misunderstood. Similarly, the distance will
also increase between you and your child. To put simply, the role of parents is
quite important in terms of making the child feel secure and understood when
parents give the due attention.
This is not to say that children can get away with
misbehavior. But the truth is children who are not able to distinguish between
right and wrong are in relatively advantageous position than the parents. In
other words, children are expected to behave, however, if they do not, parents
will be held responsible for the bad behavior. After all, parents are supposed
to raise the children in the right manner. And if you do not like something in
the personality of your child, you can reassess the parenting style to make
that change happen.
Ask Questions: If you are not good at communication with
your family or if you are a new parent, you can start by asking right questions
whenever it is needed. For instance, if you see the baby crying, you can ask
him/her if she wants to have food or play with you. Though it may puzzle you in
the beginning, however, if you stick with it, you will learn to read the
expression of your child.
Force: Of course it is important to develop the habit of
sharing in children, however, if you are forcing the child to share his/her
toys with the younger sibling, it may not yield you the desired results.
Therefore, there is a need to provide the environment to the children which
would influence the children in terms of making a choice to share rather than
being forced to do so. And if your child is still resisting to the ideas of
sharing, you need to give them space and time.
Space: In addition to not using force with children, the
value of giving the required space to children is mandatory. For instance, if
the child is not interested in socializing with the new sibling or if it not
very welcoming or up to your expectations, you should let the child deal with
the change. The main idea is that if you give space, the child will learn to come
around after a certain period of time.
Patience: Preaching about patience is not as effective as
the actions or gestures reflecting patience are. To put simply, if you tell your child to show patience, it may be hard. But if you can encourage the
tolerance building traits in the personality of the child from the start, it
could make the process of putting up with hard situations easy. Therefore, if
your child asks you get one toy and demands for another right after getting the
first one, you are expected to put a full stop to it rather than nurturing the
tendency of your child to look for more without valuing the things in
possession.
Balance: Parents are also expected to balance the time in
terms of giving love and care to the older child. This is not to say that
children are always rational, however, if you are not being careful and if you
compromise on the time allotted to the older sibling, chances of increased
grievances will increase. This means that if you balance the love and time, you
can manage the misbehavior of the young child to a large extent.
In a nutshell, raising children is hard especially if you
are a parent of more than one child, but if you follow the tips and do take all
the right steps, you will learn to master the required skills for good
parenting.
